Waking up before the alarm. Never hitting snooze. Sweating it out at the gym early in the morning. Walking to the station. Watching YouTube on the train. Skipping into Engine Headquarters and cheerfully shouting “hello!” to my colleagues. The three of us taking a walk around the block after lunch. Daniel and Emmanuel playing characters together in hilarious accents until tears stream down my cheeks from laughing. Sometimes during work, just turning your chair to your colleagues and saying something random, sharing life lessons, showing something funny on the World Wide Web, or just being silly. I miss it.

FROM CHEETAH TO SLOTH MODE

Waking up before the alarm and hitting the gym before 7:00 a.m. (Let’s just ignore the fact that most people think I’m crazy) was normal for me. Routine, discipline, call it what you want. It worked, and it worked well. Fit, alert, fast, energy for 10 – cheetah Irene.

I really lost my motivation when I suddenly found myself stuck at home, just like everyone else in the Netherlands. I went to bed later, stopped waking up before my alarm, and so I snoozed again, skipped workouts, and bought way too much junk food. My entire daily routine went to shit. Sloth Irene. Shit.

Well… I suddenly lost my “normal.” I was a bit lost. To make matters worse, I named all my plants. I almost designed birth announcements for them. To keep myself from going crazy, I started looking for new motivation. For example, I started running. Isn’t this the perfect time to learn new things and be creative? Whether you want to speak fluent Swahili, or you want to tickle the strings of your banjo again after years… now is the time. Building your own dream house out of toilet paper rolls? Why not, you have plenty of them anyway. And the excuse that you don’t have time is sooo February 2020.

Finding ways to use my days productively – I’m doing pretty well again. Exercising at home, working from home, and connecting with friends digitally from the living room. Everything is different, but for now, it’s the new normal.

I’ve lost my “normal” on a small scale, but I think the world has completely lost its way. As much as I’m upset about my disrupted life, it pales in comparison to the enormous health and economic problems the entire global population is currently facing. I think of the Italians, the Spanish, and even the Dutch, who are far worse off than I am. That puts my struggles in perspective.

Don’t whine, Ireen. You’ll be fine. You have a roof over your head and enough toilet paper in the cupboard. You’re healthy, and so is your family. You have a job. Good work. Work you can do from home. For now, just grit your teeth. Help where you can. Complain? You’ll do that again when everything’s running smoothly again. When the train to Amsterdam is packed again and the highways are gridlocked again. Pie in the sky.